oh dear i am let down – not that it is unusual

bloody richomanmond.  the handbaggers have proven they are still in the mix with an easy win over siderknee.  the fuchsias travelled home to launny and delivered the dickers with their second loss on the trot. bloody richomanmond.  the needle boys are still surprising and had a comfortable win over the sainters.  carolton gave mick his first win with them – and in the west at that.  port is another that is still surprising, although it was against the sunny boys.  melbon finally got on the board over kev’s kiddies.  adelsaide also got a win and was up against footerscray.  norf melbon also came up trumps, easily accounting for brisvagas.  bloody richomanmond.

mr frisbee gets the money this week.  closely followed by chitty chitty bang bang.  and professor tim tam in third spot.  all had seven correct tips.

brankertar likes whipped cream on top – oh sorry is still on top cos that is where the cream goes.  well that is what she said cos she likes being on top.  come on, get the thoughts where they should be – on top of the ladder – where were you thinking?  chitty chitty bang bang is closely following in second place.  simply red is third.

How do you know when you’re staying in a Collingwood motel?

When you call the front desk and say, 
” I gotta leak in my sink, and the clerk replies ………
“Go ahead.”

till next week


carn the tiges


had a smart title, but can’t remember it….

esserdown get smacked early, but got home over the dickers with a strong second half.  the same with siderknee who had an 11 goal quarter to finally cruse over norf melbon.  melbon put up a fight for a half then fell away to the weevils.  the sainters finally decided to kick their season off by thumping kev’s kids.  the local derby (pronounced dar as in bar not der as in her) saw brisvagas unconvincingly sneak home over the sunny boys.  the handbaggers kept carolton winless – yay.  richomanmond has continued a great start to the year with a cantering win over footerscray.  the fuchsias whipped the dirty stinking rotten mongrel bastard pie team – double yay….  the other local derby (pronounced –  well refer back a couple of sentences cos i am a lazy bastard) saw powerless finally overcome adele’slaid.

we have our first tie for the year – simply red and apocalyptic greenie (a colour thing going on here????) with seven correct tips. noticed they both forgot to tip the first game and with a close margin got it – bloody tin arses. cadaver third with seven correct too.  checking it out, seven got seven correct does that mean something special?  maybe seven divided by seven = one. so that means they all got one so the next in line is miagis-tsu, so he gets the money.  miagi-desu thinks it is fair.

cadaver is now clear on top.  simply red second, and chimney sweep third.  hhmmm we used to indicate that another competitor used to be underhanded to get on top.  looks like we now have another to pick on in such a manner – if cadaver does not watch it, she will be retitled as branker, or should that be brankette????


figure won. collingwood supports yard swing….

a collingwood supporter passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow but she can’t touch it until she is 14….

till next week


carn the tiges

week 2 and i have to make the most of it…

Richomanmond  is on top of the ladder!!!! Sittin pretty at number one.  Well they were till latye Saturday arvo when the other games had finished.  I think adam was dust or whatever he was made from when richomanmond were 2 zip after two rounds.  Siderknee again did enough to gain a comfortable win.  The dicky dockers burst footerscray’s bubble.  Brisvagas looked like taking the points but were undone in the end by the croaking crows.  Port adialaide had another percentage booster over sheedy’s kids.  Oh dear it looks like melbon is in for a long long season with another belting, this time at the hands of the druggies.  North melbon looked to have the handbaggers’ measure all day but let them sneak in and win at the end.  The dirty rotten stinkingbag of maggots got up – at least it was over carolton.  The fuchsias got their first win with a road trip to west to beat the weagles. 

cadaver gets a bonus point for a perfect round. At least she is a tiger fan.  Hunting walking horse came in second – as long as his team does the same, all is good.  Go seek picks up third. Actually 2nd down to 8th only got one wrong.

Oh dear, miagi-sushi is in conflict.  He used to brown nose to a person with white in their sirname, calling white knight and all that goody goody stuff cos miagi-wa tutored for him.  Once he was free of this, he could be truthful about this whitearse.  But now is back in his employ and the very nice low life fujitop snow cone – what does the poor bastard do?  Anyway, fuji top snow dome sits on top of the ladder – shit. The good looking brittney is second with cadaver third.

welcome this week to magenta.  have to be careful here, don’t want her seeing red….  one has to presume this is another of the clan of white.  just hope the hell magenta is not a pie supporter. but then magenta can’t be – it would be to hard a word for her to comprehend if she was – anything more than black or white gives them headaches

a primary teacher starts a new job at a school in collingwood and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a collingwood fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Collingwood fans.

 everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

the teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: “mary, why didn’t you raise your hand?” “because I’m not a collingwood fan,” she replied.

the teacher, still shocked, asked: “well, if you’re not a collingwood fan, then who are you a fan of?” “i’m a richmond fan, and proud of it,” mary replied. the teacher could not believe her ears.

 “mary, why are you a richmond fan?” my mum and dad were born and raised in richmond, so my mum is a richmond fan and my dad is a richmond fan, and so i’m a richmond fan too!”

 “well,” said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, “that’s no reason for you to be a richmond fan.  you don’t have to be just like your parents all of the time. what if your mum was in jail, your dad was a drug dealer and your brother was a car thief, what would you be then?”

 “then,” mary said, “i’d be a collingwood fan.”

Till next week


Carn the tiges

week 1 – a newcomer wins week 1, how preposterous

i suppose miagi-sawa should say welcome back and also a hearty welcome to all the newcomers – except one maybe. but more of that later.

now to the round that seemed as long as the summer break.  essendon seems to have some residual stuff – not saying whether it was legal or illegal (how can i when it looks like no other bugger knows either) – left in the systems and ran over adelaide.  fremantle did likewise to westcoast – at least i think they did cos the game was so long ago i think it was recorded on the dead sea scrolls.  anyway according to the afl, the season did not start until thursday night when the mighty tiges actually got up and won their first game – wow – mind you, they tried hard to lose it.  so with that in mind, i am gunna make the most of it – but then i notice their position is 9th and most likely where they will stay.  footscray gave brisbane a fair old touchup. sydney cantered over greater western sydney, but not really in an emphatic way.  gold coast, or more specifically ablett, put st kilda in their place.  port started the year with a huge confidence boosting win over melbourne.  collingwood grizzled about their win over north.  finally geelong continued their dominance over hawthorn.  now look there, miagi-sushi can summarise a round so it makes sense.  but what a boring paragraph – except for the richmond win – so don’t count on a weekly summary ever making sense again…..

for the newcomers, this part is where miagi-saki usually reports 1st, 2nd, and 3rd; write a bit of gossip; take the piss on collingwood and anyone who plays sport like ultimate frisbee.  whether you use your actual name or a pseudonym – no matter how obscure it may be – miagi-desu will give you some convoluted, contorted, and cryptic name (sometimes these change each week).  in saying that, how the f..k does miagi-desuka put a twist on “suck my tips”????  they leave themselves open to any ridicule but with a name like that, must have a great sense of humour – unlike the one who walked a marathon last year and boasts that he ran it – anyway back to suck my tips, miagi would have found a way to disqualify her (am presuming she is a she and not a he cos of her/his profile pic) except it would have meant that snowman would have won and that would be even worse. door matt came in third.

better welcome the new peoples who have not been so far mentioned – sound of music, what a strange name which should duly go to julie, but that is too obvious. –  hunter walkinghorse, whose name sounds like he is another bloody collingwood supporter, so can be called anything at all – cozzie one, has to be called budgie or maybe smuggler…  two or three more are due to join too so they will be welcomed in due course.

house keeping stuff:  if anyone forgets to tip, they automatically get the away teams.  anyone who tips all winners in a single (full) round gets a bonus point.  money – will get the good dr goody2shoes to send me the details of where to deposit your $24.  then will post it here and most likely email it too.  how the break up of the money goes is – 50% goes to paying the weekly winner.  so as it stands we have 17 in the comp. so 17x$24 = $408 total  therefore $204/23 rounds = $8.86 per round for the weekly winner (to be paid at season’s end).  this leaves $204 for the final payout.  of which sml (stone motherless last) gets their money back and the remainder goes to (at this stage) the winner ($180).  if there is a decent influx of people joining late, we may change it from one taking the balance to 1st and 2nd, or even 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.  this is all dependant on how many finally join PLUS how many pay up….  you will have till round 4 to become financial (was going to be round 3 but i have posted it after round 1).  Any round wins before then and you get the winnings.  You can still tip after then, but if you happen to get the most tips for a round, you will miss out on claiming that weekly win – as miagi-dope-o managed to do last year…. in other words after round 4 you have to be financial or you miss out.  once you are financial, you are eligible to take the weekly winnings.  i will also have to check the rule on unfinancial people at season’s end if they are in line to win the lot – it may be that we set a date that anyone has to be financial by in order for them to claim the money – definitely no one can be unfinancial at season’s end and say take the $24 out of my winnings.  all this is just trying to be fair to everyone who pay up early.   one final thing – this is done freely off our own backs and we are all at various times pretty busy.  so if newsletters, other information, organising a footy game trip, payments, etc, etc are not prompt,  we are not deliberately being slack or trying to pull one over you.  so please be patient – we will get to it…..

enough of the frivolities and to the serious stuff – Q: what do you call a collingwood supporter in a suit?  A: the defendant.

till next week

carn the tiges

go on grab some balls – footballs

i am sure you will all be wetting your pants at the news that miagisaki has entred his tips for the whole year.  he did this last year just to show the perfect snow job how it is done.  the only rebuttal that the snowman could come up with was that miagito changed them through the year.  what an insult.  look at me – go on – now is that a face that is deceitful? hhmmm, maybe don’t answer that…..